Breathe

First off, let me apologize because this blog post does not even come close to the good things in life. It may not be the saddest, but I really feel like crying. I spent so many months ignoring the subject and now that I opened up..I just feel all the more guarded. Minsan feeling ko ako lang gumagawa ng sarili kong problema. I promised myself I'll never be this girl again, the kind who misses being with someone. Pero like they told me, it's part of being human. I just wish I never had that conversation. Not because it wasn't the right time, but because it was with the wrong person. You know that instance when you go on and on about someone you want to be with and you realize...your describing one specific person? And what's worse is that your ACTUALLY talking to that person? Then he goes off talking about a person who is SO FAR from who you are. I'm mature enough not to kick and scream because of that.

I'm just so frustrated because its the story all over again. It's become such a cycle that I'm getting so sick and tired. I just want to run as fast as I can because God knows I don't need this in my life right now. I was doing great, I finally got the hang of it. I wish I had the courage to walk away like I always do. But I can't. I want you to quit telling me I deserve so much more. I want you to quit telling me someone is out there.

You know all those things I was rambling about? That was you. Each and every detail. I don't love you. God knows I don't because I don't believe in it. But you're not someone I can walk away from. You're not someone I can just run away from because I'm beginning to feel something. And that's what scares me the most. Its a cycle. It happens all the time. And I'm afraid I have so much more to lose now. And I really REALLY want to walk away.

...

:]



The Top Ten Things My Dad Said That Saved My Life

My dad is a man of few words. More often than not, a litany of words would often get you a curt nod. He took up his secondary education at San Beda College, he was also a Philosophy graduate from the same college. He got his MBA in De La Salle University then his Law degree at Ateneo De Manila University. Yes, UAAP games tear him apart.

1. This is what you call..BASKETBALL. The sport is a big part of our relationship because my dad played for San Beda during his college years. Oha. :) He taught me all the skills and tricks. Despite the obvious fact that I'm truly height deprived.

2. The best hobby there is, is reading. My dad is such a book junkie like me. Our sunday afternoons are spent looking for the perfect book to buy. Book which turns into books because I could never just by one. The best thing is my dad never deprived me of reading, he encouraged even the most shallow of books.

3. Why don't you try writing. I was eight and so bored at our Hong Kong hotel. My dad handed me a writing pad and a pen, from then on I never stopped writing. I wrote poems and short stories, which to my dad's happiness, would be my way of telling him how I feel. It definitely helped bridge our differences during my teenage years.

4. There's nothing more wonderful than family. My dad's side of the family has always been the closest to my heart. Nothing could ever be the epitome of family like they are. Sure, we had our ups and downs, but there really is nothing more wonderful than my family.

5. Boss, sa tinapay. My dad introduced me to one of the most amazing creations in this world. Sorbetes sa monay. Hahaha. To this day, nothing has ever surpassed my comfort food.

6. If you want to be sure, ask me, I will always know. He does know, and it's not because he's my dad. He just knows each and every time someone doesn't have the best of intentions. And my dad has helped me see the light one too many times.

7. Ask for the betterment of others, and your dreams shall unfold. My dad has always taught me how to be selfless, because he is one of the most selfless people I know. Always look out for others before yourself.

8. Don't run away from what you fear. He knows me so well. He knows that so many things scare me but i'd rather not show it. Even if I look so forlorn and nervous, he would always push me to face my fears. Not riding rollercoasters though, we share that fear to a T.

9. Take it one step at a time. Whenever I have to decide on doing something, I have always had this habit of imagining possible future scenarios. I blame it on my creativity. So before I actually drive myself crazy trying to think of things, he always reminds me to take that one step and worry when I get there.

10. Lyching. People who know me and my dad would understand this. Haha.

The Top Ten Things I Thought I Would Never Do

I thought I would never...

1. Eat vegetables. Let's start off mild, and just because I have yet to mentally list down the big guns. When I was younger I developed a gag reflex to vegetables and I swore I would never go near the horrid stuff. As years passed, what started out as carrot nibbles eventually blossomed into a whole plate of vegetables I could gobble down. Healthy Shmelty.

2. Listen to Regine Velasquez. It took a huge break up and a rainy saturday night to help me appreciate her heartbreaking songs. Embarassment aside, I probably had "Bluer than blue"on loop for days! And that is why I'll never show anyone my ipod playlist. Teehee.

3. Dive off a boat. I'm really scared of heights, and actually going too deep in the water. A couple of summers back, to my surprise, I actually tried boat diving. It was amazing! It's definitely one thing people should try at least once in their life.

4. COOK! This might prove to be a comfort to beginner cooks out there. I started out so bad with cooking. One time, after my brother ate the Lechon Kawali I cooked, he got a sore throat and fever. That just brings bad cooking to a whole new level. But I kept on cooking until people actually asked for my Adobo. :)

5. Sing in front of a crowd. Ok, so its not actually a crowd. It was more like a group of friends. I sang though, and I wasn't even fiddling with my hair or rubbing my knee. Haha

6. Travel on my own. Ok so Boracay isn't really considered as a major vacation, but atleast I crossed out that one little island off my list.

7. Apply for my Masters Degree. I probably came up with one excuse after another just to hold this off. Eventually I did get the ball rolling, and I'm finally close to achieving this goal. I got into one of the best universities ever, and I thank God everyday for creating miracles.

8. Drive. I was shit scared of driving.  I even got into a minor fender bender on my 21st birthday. It worked out great though. I''m not exactly the meanest driver on the streets, but I do think i'm pretty decent around jeepney drivers. Beep Beep!

9. Get a tattoo. I got a tattoo a year ago, and for 9 months my mom thought it was henna. I KNOW. I did come clean though, and I intend to add one more tattoo..or two. :)

10. Write a blog about this. Just because I never thought I was so self absorbed that I needed to blog about the things I would never do.

Hahahahahahaha....

My Family :)

We used to spend so much time together as kids. Summer trips to Bicol, sunday lunch at Philam, christmas and birthday parties. But as time passed, we saw less and less of each other. All of a sudden, Bicol was too far and the house in Subic was a better choice for summer getaways. Instead of leaving me behind at Philam while they enjoy their sunday outings, I was big enough to join them. Although times changed, each time I get to see my cousins is the happiest day ever. Spending time with the Abano family is the best anyone can ever ask for. And even if our family isn't that perfect, we do get crazy sometimes, nothing and I mean NOTHING makes me feel like i'm part of a family other than this crazy bunch.

sitting on the "throne" at Philam

My eldest cousins (Tita Ophie's children) are probably the ones I know would protect me. I remember when I was a toddler, my parents would often leave me behind at my grandmother's house every sunday while they go to the mall. My Kuya Ton or Kuya Monette would often look after me. My cousins are big burly men who use serving spoons to eat, yet I always remembered them as big softies whenever I was around. I remember during those times that we would eat together, they would pile rice on their plates and put ulam right on the center. Kuya Monette taught me how to ride my first scooter. They introduced me to monay filled with dirty ice cream. They shoved my head into their armpits for fun and even shared stories about my lolo.  Tito Bing's three eldest children, although they lived in the States were a big part of my childhood. Kuya Binggles, I remember, taught me how to skateboard (I failed). While Kuya JV, because of his military background, would often be the protective one. He gave me my first ever "This is What Happens When You Get Drunk" talk.

My "older" cousins at Subic

My middle cousins (Tito Poyoyo's children) were the ones I really didn't spend time with the most, until we started spending time at Subic. As a kid I remembered going over to their house for a swim, since they had a pool. I would often stay on the pool stairs with a plastic cup in hand.

Posing ala One Tree Hill

Now my cousins (Tito Bing's younger children), I was probably closest to. Their youngest, Bingboy is close to my age. I remember whenever we spent summers in Bicol, I would always beg my dad to extend our stay because I love my cousins as much as I love Daet. We spent so much time at Bagasbas. I remember spending the whole day at the beach, by lunch time my Lola had the hotel staff bring food. Let me tell you, Mama Diday (the Karilagan Hotel cook) makes the BEST and I mean the BEST food ever. Her patatim is the bomb. I would spend countless hours looking after Bingboy, bathing him, picking out clothes for him, and crying everytime we're not together. Today, he towers over me and its probably impossible to dress him up. Ate Gay and Ate Ky were the ones who babied me. The younger cousins would often fight over where my two cousins would ride on the way home to Manila. They would often tell ghost stories, which ofcourse fed my addiction. Kuya Go is probably the next kuya I have to my real big brother. He would be there whenever I needed someone to talk to, or to give me advice whenever I was losing my way.

With Bingboy!!!

Tito Bingbong and Tita Daisie's children are the closest to my heart. They were such a part of my childhood. We are so close that when we we're kids they even fought with my other cousin because they thought she was "stealing their Lyca". I spent my weekends with them and they even got me started on swimming. Not to mention, the idea of mixing milo with my rice, which I got from them. Tita Daisie is my mom's bestfriend, and that just makes all of us closer. And eventhough this year, we lost my cousin Walter, the best memories will always stay with us.

Chie and Niks

Mace and Chie

My love for my cousins, eventually doubled for their children. My pamangkins are the main attraction for my facebook profile. I love them to bits. It's always fun to bond with my cousins, even if it means I need to be asked repeatedly where my boyfriend is (or lack thereof). They are what family is all about. We might not be perfect, and we often do crazy things, but it's just a silent truth, that we love each other. I can always count on them for anything, either laughs or sound advice.

Wrestling with my cousins

They are my true best friends. The ones who know me inside and out. The ones who have been there from day one. My cousins Kuya Dino, Kuya Weng, Kuya Monette, Kuya Ton, Kuya Ingky, Ate Chicha, Kuya Migo, Kuya Binggles, Kuya KC, Kuya JV, Ate Chitty, Ate Lisa, Kuya Joel, Kuya Popop, Ate Binggay, Ate Bingky, Kuya Bingo, Bingboy, Kuya Walter, Macy, Nikki, and Cheska.

An Open Letter to YOU – August 10 2010

My nieces, ranging from the ages of 2 to 5 are dancing to Justin Bieber as I write this. Although they inspired this letter, they are too young to understand anything in relation to what I'm thinking. The youngest will probably look at me with wonder and then ask me to take more pictures of her. The eldest would probably have an idea then scream COOOOTIES! So, when you girls do get older, I hope you get to read this and laugh at your poor old Auntie Lyca who took too long to figure things out.

To you,

I know my family and friends will be laughing once they read this, and trust me I'm cringing. They would probably tell me I am too far off to be saved or question why I actually wrote such things. It all started with a newspaper article I read to my nieces, because I wanted to share the wisdom of the words the author wrote. As I finished reading, my niece looked up, "Eh ikaw? What do you like?", she asked. I wanted to describe Prince Charming, just because at her age it's the only idea she probably has. But my niece, so intelligent and witty, would probably never believe me and I know she deserves more than that simple explanation. 

Over the years, he was the boy I first kissed during kindergarten, the boy who gave me his pencil whenever mine broke, the boy who tossed me that one mangled flower, the boy who asked me to prom, and the one who set my standards. So many experiences, funny ones in fact, yet I never asked myself if you were real. I know you're out there but I was never in a hurry to meet you. I mean, sure I think about you whenever I watch romantic comedies (which is close to never) or when my aunts tell me that the women in our family can't be tied down (which is often). In my mind, I'm happy being single (or maybe I'm just convincing myself), because I haven't met someone who has made me wish otherwise. But don't be scared, I'm pretty sure when I do meet you I won't be so hard to convince. 

I have to warn you though, if you're looking for Little Miss Perfect, that's not me. I'm a bit weird, I like to call myself "cooky" just so it would sound better. I'm shy and quiet, although when I open up I can overshare a bit. You would probably be irritated with how random I can be. I dance off cue and sing just as bad, it would be funny if you have fun with me rather than gawk at the weirdness. I don't have the long hair and legs. I have short, past the shoulder, no nonsense hair which I keep in a ponytail unless I want it pointing towards different directions. I'm short, just a wee bit past 5 inches, and because of that I will allow you to call me short, peanut, or anything else you think is funny.

You probably have a best friend, the one who can play games with you all day in your boxers while pigging out. I will leave that all up to the boys. However, I can be the one you call whenever you feel down or just had a bad day. They do say I'm a good listener. Whenever you're in an awkward situation or just bored, you can text me how everything is, then I'll say something funny that would make you laugh alone – which will make everything more awkward. I'm someone you can talk to about the simplest things to the biggest of dreams, and I promise to laugh a little and support you.

You would probably be a little conscious whenever I rub your back. That's my thing! Other girls play with the collar or the ear, I like rubbing backs. I do giggle, don't find it weird, when I giggle that's a good thing because that means I'm giddy. I like kissing cheeks, and I do love it whenever I surprise you by doing that. It just means I adore you. I would cook for you, not only on your birthday, but every single day you feel like it. Not to brag, but my adobo? IS AWESOME.

Yes, you can have your hangout time with the boys. I can also be the most fun person to hang out with. I won't drag you away from the scary horror movie because I LOVE watching them. If you still play console games, you don't have to hide it because I think it's cool (I was not raised with video games for nothing). I'm not afraid to eat, you won't see me ordering salad or measly amounts of food because I'm too shy. I do eat, and I'll eat whatever, whenever, and wherever you want. I won't have that weird look whenever you cheer too loudly or shake the television. I'm right there screaming and shouting with you because just like you, I love and understand sports.


I will be there whenever you need someone to hold on to AND still be there when you want to be alone. I'll give you your space and have a life of your own. At the end of the day I can always be that one person you can talk and drink hot chocolate with on the sofa.

I'll appreciate your own plans, but do know that we can also plan our little adventures together. Buying a map where we can thumbtack the places we want to go to. Looking at my "Restaurants" list and accomplishing my dine out escapades with me. Rolling down the car windows and screaming out happiness as we go on our road trips. We can have fun under the sun all day, even if it means that all my freckles will be proudly all over. And we will never get tired of each other along the way.

 I hope you find my randomness awesome. I plan to share it with you whenever possible. One moment we're holding hands, the next I will be dancing and trying to make you join in the fun. I'll tell you things I thought of in that instance then cover my mouth when I get embarrassed. 

You shouldn't be afraid of my family, which you will eventually meet because we are close like that. My dad will have that strong hand shake, he is not scary, when you meet him you will find out why I love him so much. My mom is a bit scary, although she has her reasons. Let me tell you, each time my mother tells me she doesn't like a certain someone, she always proves me right. My sister and brother are the funniest people EVER! Don't be scared when my brother starts telling you the things he did to the boys I liked, he is making up…half of it. My aunts will probably be a little too happy. My uncles will probably holler and make you feel embarrassed. My cousins might interrogate you a bit and make you take that one beer bottle for acceptance. I wish this doesn't scare you because we are a big and loving family. I will also love your family, no matter what, if you do decide to introduce me. I will love your family, friends, house help, driver, dogs, cats, ANYTHING and ANYONE! And I promise not to pester you whenever I feel otherwise.

You will be someone I can plan my future with – reserving plane tickets to trips we will have, getting our first pet together (no cats), helping you move in to your new place, having our little piggybank savings, and many more that we will come up with randomly.

To the man who will prove me otherwise, that I really can be tied down: I'm easy to love. The only reason I don't believe, is because I know my capacity. I know how much I can love, and it's the single most terrifying thing in this world. Just remember, all the things that make me who I am. Please don't try to change me, because I promise to be the best I can be for you. I'm really not keeping my fingers crossed or praying that you'll hurry up, because I can wait. If you're the right one, trust me I'll know. I just hope you'd wait for me too.

Cringing in embarrassment,

Angelica

I read this to my nieces and they said: EW.

A Letter to Lyca

Dear Lyca,

It's been 23 years and you have gone a long way. Not many achievements as we would have liked, but now you know it's never too late. You've spent so much time being hard on yourself, surrounding yourself with negativity, and giving in to the criticisms of your own self-doubt. I'm happy you finally got to this point, just like what we promised ourselves, one day you'll get here. It wasn't an easy road to take right? There were many heartaches, disappointments, and lies. Instead of thinking that these things strengthened you, you always thought these were proofs that you couldn't do anything. Now you know you were wrong, because those things, the bumps in the road made you confident and strong. There's no need to criticize yourself anymore because the one person who should love and respect you realized just now that she always did. I love how big your smile is, even though you know your teeth are not the most perfect set, you still have the biggest smile ever. I love your chubby cheeks because they always turn the perfect shade of pink when you're happy. I love your eyes, because they are big, clear, and deep just like you. I love your long lashes because you get that from your mom. I love your scooped ears because they say it means you will be rich. I love your hair because it's the perfect shade of brown. I love your neck because you got the lines there from your dad. I love your body because it's what God gave you. Now I know you have to lose weight, eventually you will and you know you have to start tomorrow. Even if mom tells you to lose weight, it doesn't mean she hates how you look, she just wants you to be healthy. And you will start tomorrow. I love your toes, yes even the mangled nail of your baby toe because they always say "you're so much like your dad" since his baby toe is also messed up. I love the scratches on your arms, because those represent the fun times you had playing with the dogs. I love your tattoo because it represents the strength you must have, "rising from the end", remember that you always have to rise after defeat. I love how funny you are, even if you can't deliver a joke properly, sabi nga nila "easy lang pero may digs". I love that you are compassionate, always the nurturer, always the one to take people under her wings. I love that you're beginning to fight back when you criticize yourself. I love that you are shy because good deeds are better than loud words. I love that you have a relationship with God even if it's not the most perfect. I love that you can wear whatever you like because you are beginning to realize your own beauty. I love that you have the most perfect family who provides for you, supports you, and loves you unconditionally. I love that despite the fact that you're irritable, you still find ways to surprise the people you love. I love the fact that you love your father so much, because you are so much like him. I love that you take some risks, baby steps, but still they are risks. I love that despite the heartache, you are happy and ready for new love. I love that despite the fear, you managed to push through with your dreams. I love that you love your job now, and hopefully you work hard to prolong your stay in the company. I love that you're looking at the positive side of things. I love that you are no longer angry or afraid. I love that you are no longer settling because you know what you want. I love the fact that all your dreams are coming true, more so because you want to dream bigger. I love the fact that you are dreaming not only for yourself, but for others. I love each and every thing about you, each and every mistake you made, and each and every choice you took. These made you...you. These things made you...me.

It's time to start. I'll see you on the other side.

Love,
The New Angelica

Here's to ALL the girls :)

Here's to all those girls who used to be his number one.

The ones who waited all night for him to text only to check your cell phone the next morning and be disappointed.

The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened.

Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, "I only want to be your friend", one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you and the next when he doesn't want to be anything at all.

Here's to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn't bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder "what if".

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn't mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that "You're just not the one for me." or maybe, "things were going too fast, I'm just not ready." Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here's to the girls who couldn't cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt.

The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn't bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an "I told you so."

The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserved a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here's for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.

Here's for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart ... again.

This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.

Here's for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it's better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that. When your song comes on the radio, turn the station.

When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don't answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.

Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn't him, and realized that once again, he hadn't called when he said he was going to.

One day, you'll find a guy who's worth all the tears, but he won't make you cry. You may think that you'll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.

It's gonna hurt like hell, and it's going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

When it rains..it pours :)

I miss the rain. I miss hearing it pitter patter on my window sill. I have always associated the rain with blessings, and whenever it rained I was always inspired that blessings were on their way. In my life I try to be thankful for everything. The best advise I got was probably not to rely on short-term pleasures. It is very easy to compromise long term goals and real happiness for something that is essentially available. In my life I have sometimes settled for something that I thought was beneficial. And sometimes life teaches me otherwise. Life is made up of so many choices and consequences that come out of it. I base my choices on what I believe in, and those beliefs are usually the outcomes of a series of choices I had to make.


1. I believe that the rain does bring blessings.
2. I believe that  the first people I need to accept - good or bad - are my family.
3. I believe that you have to stand up for what you believe in.
4. I believe that I would rather be kind than feared.
5. I believe that you should NEVER EVER apologize for who you are.
6. I believe that children should play as much as they can because grown up games are not that fun.
7. I believe that looking good is feeling good.
8. I believe that people who belittle others are the lowest kind of specimen and they should be brushed off.
9. I believe that compassion, kindness, and being humble should be practiced.
10. I believe in the saying "kanya kanya lang yan". If people only learned how to live and accept each other, the world would be a happier place.
11. I believe that I don't need to EVER make excuses for the right man.
12. I believe that no matter how small, everyone should live their dream.
13. I believe that you should always surround yourself with positive people.
14. I believe that you should always ask help from God and thank Him also.
15. I believe that it is ok to make mistakes, as long as one learns from them.
16. I believe that there are three words to be learned in life: it goes on.

Given any situation, people do not have the same choices. What may be a good choice for others can be bad for someone else. Ultimately it all comes down to what people really believe. Sometimes people settle for less because they think hoping for something more can potentially be heartbreaking. Other times people pass up on opportunities because they believe they are not good enough. And with just the amount of right timing and good fortune, people often find themselves in a place where they are blessed enough to be...themselves. Blessings come in all shapes and forms, it is just a matter of how you look at it.

I think I have changed, and will continue to be better with every choice I make. Sure, I have left out some things in my life, but it all turned out to be for the better. I don't miss those things and maybe that is the key to happiness. Maybe we hurt because people don't know how to let go of the past. Like I said, life goes on..everything goes on until there is nothing left.

Trials. Choices. Consequences. Blessings. It's all just a cycle. Don't be stationary, move.

Go Out and VOTE!

Go out and vote. It's your right. :]

I just got home from the precinct, and I'm telling you...automated elections? awesome. I had to be at the precinct  30 minutes before 7 A.M because I know if I get there late I'd probably be stuck in line with a bunch of hot headed people. So glad I went early. Kahit late nagstart yung voting, buti nalang ang daming nakaka aliw na observations sa pila. Hahaha

1. IBANG KLASE PAGKA CHISMOSA NG MGA BOTANTE. Natatawa nalang ako kanina habang nakapila. Lahat ata ng klase ng chismis tungkol sa mga kandidato narinig ko na. Hindi lang sila chismosa..echusera pa. :]

2. (KAHIT HINDI PA TUMITINGIN) BOTANTE: WALA AKO SA LISTAHAN. Mga tao talaga.

3. NA-USO ANG "SAMPLE BALLOT" SA LABAS NG PRECINCT. Naman kasi diba? Hindi yan sample ballot. Ang tawag diyan KODIGO. Ang tawag diyan? BAWAL ATE BAWAL!

4. LUMALAKAS ANG MGA SENIOR CITIZEN. Akala mo lang fragile..pero hindi. hahaha Ang galing kasi parang sila pa mauuna makipagsapakan pag may sumingit sa pila.

5. PROUD NA ANG SHY SENIOR CITIZENS. Noon hiyang hiya sila magbigay ng SC card sa restaurants. Pero sa voting? halos rinig sa BUUUUUOOOOOONG precinct yung sigaw nila na.."SENIOR CITIZEN AKO!" special daw kasi dapat.

6. NAGIGING INSTANT BARKER ANG MGA BOTANTE. Magugulat ka nalang may sumisigaw sa likod ng pila ng: "SINO PO DITO MAY KOTSE NA RTY 323?? NAKAHARANG!" hahaha

They said na if all goes well, election results might be out by tomorrow. Although, some precincts are having a hard time since some of the machines aren't even working. The experience was exciting because it was new - new process, alot of new and young voters, and people are more vigilant. I hope everything turns out well. 

Filipinos go out and VOTE! :]

Golden Arch? My golden rainbow :)

There are just those days you wake up and feel like..BLAH. I mean, nothing really bad happened the day before but then you still feel like crap. Just when everything was going uphill. But hey, there's nothing like thinking of superb ways to lift those spirits back to life. Some may say they go shopping, or work out, or read a book, or watch their favorite movie. But me? My first love, the only thing that can pick me up like no other...Mcdonald's!!! Yessiree the golden arch is my happy place. Never fails.

So I woke up today not being 100% (everyone has their day). Although I really didn't want to get affected by it especially now I'm just really trying to roll with the punches. My mother will probably kill me, but I couldn't resist calling for my personal emergency hotline..8-MCDO hahahaha.

Double Cheeseburger, Fries, and Chocolate Sundae. :)

While dipping my fries into the sundae I couldn't help but think.."Kahit hindi rin naging kami sa huli, siya parin ang first love ko". :) hahahahahaahaha! *happy hums*

Grow The F Up!

Well thank you pitiful woman who decided to ruin my day with her incoherent jibber jabber and holier than thou force of opinion. Seriously. I try to respect everyone's opinion, in fact I always keep it in mind na "kanya kanya lang yan". But when I'm rolling through the punches of a headache, I expect the joining of my eyebrows serve as enough warning. And if I didn't stress it enough..JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE VOTING FOR SOMEONE ELSE DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE TO VOTE FOR THEM! IDIOT! My opinion is as good as yours get it? And please, I don't talk about politics because it always ends up with name calling and a few missing hair chunks. Look at my car plates and see who I'm voting for. Don't go all haughty and go "soooo..who are you voting for?" then fake that annoying little surpised expression like I just started the apocalypse. SERIOUSLY! You don't see me shutting you down just because I disagree with you. People. This just proves why I HATE dealing with people na, as we call them here, ANG KIKITID NG UTAK.

Pssh. Grow the F up.

LeChing Shashing :D

Bochog: Kain ng kain ng kain ng kain ng KAIN. In other words, kung ano ako ngayon. haha

Obviously, I love food. I love looking for new restaurants and trying their food. I'm the type to usually order the same food over and over again (that is if I like it). There's Gumbo's Jambalaya..Ma Mon Luk's siopao..Bellini's Risotto..KFC's chicken..Jollibee's Palabok..and my first love, Le Ching's Beef Brisket Rice. It is LOVE.

Today, my wonderful mother and I went shopping (thank you mommy for the clothes!!!!). Usually, my dad is the one I drag around to restaurants since he is a fellow food enthusiast, but today my mother is victim to my appetite. And when you go shopping at Greenhills, there's one thing you must NOT forget. No it's not the fake bags. LE CHING!!!!!! Le Ching Tea House is my favorite Chinese restaurant. Their Greenhills branch is a hole in the wall and not the most modern restaurant around. When it comes to Le Ching, you will never go wrong with their Beef Brisket Rice..and their Spareribs Rice..and Siomai..and Hakao..and Shrimp Roll..and Beef Noodles. So So SO GOOD. And they serve the food faster than you can say I miss Maxim's.

Beef Brisket Rice

TADA! This is so good. I like how they serve it in little metal bowls. The beef is so tender and is perfect with the sticky rice.

Hakao

SARAAAAP. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I love shrimp. Besides, they didn't have the Shrimp Rice Roll so I had to settle for this. I wasn't disappointed.

I left the restaurant a happy camper, like I always do. I love Le Ching, and it's super exciting that they have a branch near my house. Nothing beats Greenhills Le Ching though. At the end of the day, no matter how much I eat or where I eat at, I always go for the simple stuff. Aside from ice cream, there are two things I love the most (and they are pretty cheap too)...

I love my life. :)

Ten years from now? PASS!

The scariest question anyone can ask me is: Where do you see yourself five or ten years from now?

Seriously, it does take more than a minute to look back on what I have done THEN analyze what I still want to do. However, it does put me back on track..shakes me up a bit. When I started high school, they asked me where I see myself ten years from then..i'm 23..it is 10 years from then. Ten years that passed by just like air. I can bet on my life, I have probably done 2 out of the 5 things I swore I would do. Happy camper.

Isn't it scary though? constantly evaluating what your plans were then realizing you fell short? Sure I have dreams and aspirations, but i'm not really the best long-term planner. I would set goals for myself for say, the next 2 years, but never 10. It's not the easiest to look back and feel bad because you felt you didn't live enough. I have accomplished personal goals, just probably not the kind people would understand. I remember whenever I saw people I hung out with before, they would usually say "Grabe, sobrang laki ng pinagbago mo!!!", then my friends now would think "Really? I don't see THAT much of a change."

I am happy where I am because God knows I've come so far. You win some, you lose some. Ganun lang naman yun eh. Atleast I won more than I lost.

Change is a good thing after all

Change and chances. 

I woke up one morning to a complete change. Everything was the same, I had the same curtains and the same pictures were hanging on my wall...but everything felt different. The first thing that came into my mind? RUN. This wasn't how I planned it, but there it was, the horror staring right at me. It wasn't the kind of change that had a clear reason to be for the better. And it was the worst morning to wake up to. 

It's something that caught me off guard and frankly something I wouldn't choose for myself. But I guess the change was long overdue. I knew it then and I know it now, I had to alter something because it just wouldn't fit. And cutting that little piece of cloth was probably the hardest I chose to do. Cut your losses, ok lang yan. Then I thought, nalulungkot ba ako kasi feeling ko nagkamali ako..or pwede ko isipin na dapat na ako maging masaya kasi tama na lahat. 

Honestly? It was hard (kinda painful) pero at the end of the day it was more of a relief. Siguro kasi even if I know na I still have my days na ok ako and minsan hindi, eventually it'll all get better. I had to take the chance for change. Kung kailan malakas pa loob ko. And maybe its about time to dive into the unknown. I know I can choose to be happier. Somewhere along the road, i'll thank myself for doing this. I'll thank change for coming into my life. So whoever is only settling and gets thrown a surprise without much choice..take it. There's a much bigger world out there, better people to meet and more meaningful experiences to have. Open your mind to the fact that maybe YOU need to break the cycle. YOU need to choose to be happier. I had to leave some things in the past, but maybe that's what I need to have a better future. Some people might not agree with me, but like I said..kanya kanya naman yan eh. 

What's important is each day I forget and every night before I go to sleep I think about my future. I think about tomorrow and my plans. Change is a good thing after all. 

MMK - April 19 2010 -

"Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."  

I woke up today and reminded myself that I had to do something for my bestfriend's anniversary. I came up with the usual short anniversary wish. I was actually as far as posting it already, but then I realized I owe them more than that. I've been with them throughout the 2-year relationship and I've never met two people who were more right for each other. 

It started with a girl who prayed for something else. And a boy who told himself he wasn't going to be serious.  Now, two years later they are still choosing to be together. I always knew you'd make it. Two years..three..four..forever AND EVER! I read somewhere na everything all boils down to choice. It's a day to day thing to actually live through it and choose to love the one you're with. And somehow it's a great feeling na you get to have someone to choose. I know it wasn't the easiest ride for the two of you, but that is what i'm most proud of: despite the differences you still choose to stick around.

To my bestfriend and her boyfriend:

Life didn't make it easy for you, but I'm so glad love did. Like I always tell you, at the end of the day you really have to be thankful that you have each other. If other people knew how to appreciate and love the one they're with, life would be easier. And I'm so happy God keeps on blessing your relationship with the most beautiful love story. Misunderstandings and conflicts? Normal lang yun and don't let it get you down. Sometimes, may mga ugali na lumalabas, probably something na either one of you does not like. It's a part of being in a relationship and getting to know each other. But your love? It endured the differences. As Shakespeare said, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." It took more than love to make your relationship work. Siguro that serves as a lesson to everyone, that love comes when you don't seek it and it stays not with just love alone.

Bestfriend, I've always told you how proud I am that you have been so brave to love and be loved. Boyfriend ni bestfriend, I'm glad she is with someone who accepts her for who she is. Thank you for being that little spark of faith that love can actually happen to someone. Happy Second Anniversary you two :) 

Gift? Eto o... 

Baby LomLom!

...hahahahaha...

Dust. Boxes. Duct tape.

"You should always clean your room so you can throw out the things you no longer need."

My mom has been saying that for 23 years. Every now and then she would remind me that I might come across things in my room that needs to be thrown out. But here's the problem: I'm not a thrower. Ask anyone! Ask my family and even my friends, they know I have a hard time letting go of things. As my sister said before, for me everything has sentimental value. I mean, sure every few years I clean out my closet for a garage sale yet somehow it seems like my room is still full of things - most probably things I no longer need.

Admit it! Sometimes cleaning out your room can take half of the time if only you don't sit down and look at all the things you stored. Maybe it's that picture that reminds you so much of someone, that notebook you doodled your notes on, or maybe that stuffed animal that may be old and gray. And with each and every single memory, decision boxes form in your head..to keep or not to keep?

I hate throwing away things so much my sister does it for me.

It does come to a point when my mom no longer needs to remind me of the things I should put aside. The things I see over and over again that I can never seem to throw out. The things I need to box up until I have to deal with it again.

So there I was cleaning up my room, looking at the pictures, and pulling out musty pieces. Putting it one by one in a box until they were just..things..not memories. I covered it with a cloth and sealed the box with tape. Then I walked up the stairs to tuck it away in the farthest part of the attic. Back where I can't reach it. For the first time, cleaning up my room wasn't such a burden anymore, it didn't drag on like it did before. I know I couldn't throw it away just yet, but it is out of my sight. And maybe I thought, it isn't so bad to throw things away once in a while.

It's a choice I have to make again and again, day in and day out. Not to keep.

Isa. Isaw. Isasawsaw.

"Ikaw kasi takot ka maging mag-isa."

Ano daw? Ako na according to my sister is the classic example of an introvert? I like being alone as a matter of fact. I love locking myself up inside my room with a good book. So how the heck can someone say I can't take being alone?

"Hindi Lycs, you can't take deciding to be alone..to be happy for yourself."

Confusing..but it does make sense. I've always been a play-it-by-the-book girl. Like those freaky Rotary reminders strategically placed on the road, I live with questions. Sa palagay ko naman lahat makakapagsabi na hindi ako gumagawa ng desisyon that others would think is wrong. Noon iniisip ko na I owe it to the people in my life not to disappoint them. Pero is it really helpful? Tama ba na iniisip ko ang happiness ng ibang tao kesa sa sarili ko? Tama ba talaga yung nagsabi na takot ako magdesisyon para sa sariling kong happiness?

You know what disturbs me the most? The fact that a 23 year old is asking herself who her happiness should be for.

Welcome to my new blog :]

I have had a number of blogs before, and I usually start it by describing who I am and why I'm blogging. Sure, I gpt to rant and rave but everything got boring which caused my katamaran to update. Well...i'm a normal person. Haha. Probably the most normal and simple person you can find. Everyone's first impression of me? is usually wrong.  I don't want to keep this blog private because honestly it defeats the purpose. I guess I'll just keep posting until I find the purpose for this blog. Pretty exciting noh? Haha sana hindi ako tamarin. Feel free to comment or follow me..whatever. :]