An Open Letter to YOU – August 10 2010

My nieces, ranging from the ages of 2 to 5 are dancing to Justin Bieber as I write this. Although they inspired this letter, they are too young to understand anything in relation to what I'm thinking. The youngest will probably look at me with wonder and then ask me to take more pictures of her. The eldest would probably have an idea then scream COOOOTIES! So, when you girls do get older, I hope you get to read this and laugh at your poor old Auntie Lyca who took too long to figure things out.

To you,

I know my family and friends will be laughing once they read this, and trust me I'm cringing. They would probably tell me I am too far off to be saved or question why I actually wrote such things. It all started with a newspaper article I read to my nieces, because I wanted to share the wisdom of the words the author wrote. As I finished reading, my niece looked up, "Eh ikaw? What do you like?", she asked. I wanted to describe Prince Charming, just because at her age it's the only idea she probably has. But my niece, so intelligent and witty, would probably never believe me and I know she deserves more than that simple explanation. 

Over the years, he was the boy I first kissed during kindergarten, the boy who gave me his pencil whenever mine broke, the boy who tossed me that one mangled flower, the boy who asked me to prom, and the one who set my standards. So many experiences, funny ones in fact, yet I never asked myself if you were real. I know you're out there but I was never in a hurry to meet you. I mean, sure I think about you whenever I watch romantic comedies (which is close to never) or when my aunts tell me that the women in our family can't be tied down (which is often). In my mind, I'm happy being single (or maybe I'm just convincing myself), because I haven't met someone who has made me wish otherwise. But don't be scared, I'm pretty sure when I do meet you I won't be so hard to convince. 

I have to warn you though, if you're looking for Little Miss Perfect, that's not me. I'm a bit weird, I like to call myself "cooky" just so it would sound better. I'm shy and quiet, although when I open up I can overshare a bit. You would probably be irritated with how random I can be. I dance off cue and sing just as bad, it would be funny if you have fun with me rather than gawk at the weirdness. I don't have the long hair and legs. I have short, past the shoulder, no nonsense hair which I keep in a ponytail unless I want it pointing towards different directions. I'm short, just a wee bit past 5 inches, and because of that I will allow you to call me short, peanut, or anything else you think is funny.

You probably have a best friend, the one who can play games with you all day in your boxers while pigging out. I will leave that all up to the boys. However, I can be the one you call whenever you feel down or just had a bad day. They do say I'm a good listener. Whenever you're in an awkward situation or just bored, you can text me how everything is, then I'll say something funny that would make you laugh alone – which will make everything more awkward. I'm someone you can talk to about the simplest things to the biggest of dreams, and I promise to laugh a little and support you.

You would probably be a little conscious whenever I rub your back. That's my thing! Other girls play with the collar or the ear, I like rubbing backs. I do giggle, don't find it weird, when I giggle that's a good thing because that means I'm giddy. I like kissing cheeks, and I do love it whenever I surprise you by doing that. It just means I adore you. I would cook for you, not only on your birthday, but every single day you feel like it. Not to brag, but my adobo? IS AWESOME.

Yes, you can have your hangout time with the boys. I can also be the most fun person to hang out with. I won't drag you away from the scary horror movie because I LOVE watching them. If you still play console games, you don't have to hide it because I think it's cool (I was not raised with video games for nothing). I'm not afraid to eat, you won't see me ordering salad or measly amounts of food because I'm too shy. I do eat, and I'll eat whatever, whenever, and wherever you want. I won't have that weird look whenever you cheer too loudly or shake the television. I'm right there screaming and shouting with you because just like you, I love and understand sports.


I will be there whenever you need someone to hold on to AND still be there when you want to be alone. I'll give you your space and have a life of your own. At the end of the day I can always be that one person you can talk and drink hot chocolate with on the sofa.

I'll appreciate your own plans, but do know that we can also plan our little adventures together. Buying a map where we can thumbtack the places we want to go to. Looking at my "Restaurants" list and accomplishing my dine out escapades with me. Rolling down the car windows and screaming out happiness as we go on our road trips. We can have fun under the sun all day, even if it means that all my freckles will be proudly all over. And we will never get tired of each other along the way.

 I hope you find my randomness awesome. I plan to share it with you whenever possible. One moment we're holding hands, the next I will be dancing and trying to make you join in the fun. I'll tell you things I thought of in that instance then cover my mouth when I get embarrassed. 

You shouldn't be afraid of my family, which you will eventually meet because we are close like that. My dad will have that strong hand shake, he is not scary, when you meet him you will find out why I love him so much. My mom is a bit scary, although she has her reasons. Let me tell you, each time my mother tells me she doesn't like a certain someone, she always proves me right. My sister and brother are the funniest people EVER! Don't be scared when my brother starts telling you the things he did to the boys I liked, he is making up…half of it. My aunts will probably be a little too happy. My uncles will probably holler and make you feel embarrassed. My cousins might interrogate you a bit and make you take that one beer bottle for acceptance. I wish this doesn't scare you because we are a big and loving family. I will also love your family, no matter what, if you do decide to introduce me. I will love your family, friends, house help, driver, dogs, cats, ANYTHING and ANYONE! And I promise not to pester you whenever I feel otherwise.

You will be someone I can plan my future with – reserving plane tickets to trips we will have, getting our first pet together (no cats), helping you move in to your new place, having our little piggybank savings, and many more that we will come up with randomly.

To the man who will prove me otherwise, that I really can be tied down: I'm easy to love. The only reason I don't believe, is because I know my capacity. I know how much I can love, and it's the single most terrifying thing in this world. Just remember, all the things that make me who I am. Please don't try to change me, because I promise to be the best I can be for you. I'm really not keeping my fingers crossed or praying that you'll hurry up, because I can wait. If you're the right one, trust me I'll know. I just hope you'd wait for me too.

Cringing in embarrassment,

Angelica

I read this to my nieces and they said: EW.