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Friday, April 16, 2010

Dust. Boxes. Duct tape.

"You should always clean your room so you can throw out the things you no longer need."

My mom has been saying that for 23 years. Every now and then she would remind me that I might come across things in my room that needs to be thrown out. But here's the problem: I'm not a thrower. Ask anyone! Ask my family and even my friends, they know I have a hard time letting go of things. As my sister said before, for me everything has sentimental value. I mean, sure every few years I clean out my closet for a garage sale yet somehow it seems like my room is still full of things - most probably things I no longer need.

Admit it! Sometimes cleaning out your room can take half of the time if only you don't sit down and look at all the things you stored. Maybe it's that picture that reminds you so much of someone, that notebook you doodled your notes on, or maybe that stuffed animal that may be old and gray. And with each and every single memory, decision boxes form in your head..to keep or not to keep?

I hate throwing away things so much my sister does it for me.

It does come to a point when my mom no longer needs to remind me of the things I should put aside. The things I see over and over again that I can never seem to throw out. The things I need to box up until I have to deal with it again.

So there I was cleaning up my room, looking at the pictures, and pulling out musty pieces. Putting it one by one in a box until they were just..things..not memories. I covered it with a cloth and sealed the box with tape. Then I walked up the stairs to tuck it away in the farthest part of the attic. Back where I can't reach it. For the first time, cleaning up my room wasn't such a burden anymore, it didn't drag on like it did before. I know I couldn't throw it away just yet, but it is out of my sight. And maybe I thought, it isn't so bad to throw things away once in a while.

It's a choice I have to make again and again, day in and day out. Not to keep.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Isa. Isaw. Isasawsaw.

"Ikaw kasi takot ka maging mag-isa."

Ano daw? Ako na according to my sister is the classic example of an introvert? I like being alone as a matter of fact. I love locking myself up inside my room with a good book. So how the heck can someone say I can't take being alone?

"Hindi Lycs, you can't take deciding to be alone..to be happy for yourself."

Confusing..but it does make sense. I've always been a play-it-by-the-book girl. Like those freaky Rotary reminders strategically placed on the road, I live with questions. Sa palagay ko naman lahat makakapagsabi na hindi ako gumagawa ng desisyon that others would think is wrong. Noon iniisip ko na I owe it to the people in my life not to disappoint them. Pero is it really helpful? Tama ba na iniisip ko ang happiness ng ibang tao kesa sa sarili ko? Tama ba talaga yung nagsabi na takot ako magdesisyon para sa sariling kong happiness?

You know what disturbs me the most? The fact that a 23 year old is asking herself who her happiness should be for.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Welcome to my new blog :]





I have had a number of blogs before, and I usually start it by describing who I am and why I'm blogging. Sure, I gpt to rant and rave but everything got boring which caused my katamaran to update. Well...i'm a normal person. Haha. Probably the most normal and simple person you can find. Everyone's first impression of me? is usually wrong.  I don't want to keep this blog private because honestly it defeats the purpose. I guess I'll just keep posting until I find the purpose for this blog. Pretty exciting noh? Haha sana hindi ako tamarin. Feel free to comment or follow me..whatever. :]