My Family :)

We used to spend so much time together as kids. Summer trips to Bicol, sunday lunch at Philam, christmas and birthday parties. But as time passed, we saw less and less of each other. All of a sudden, Bicol was too far and the house in Subic was a better choice for summer getaways. Instead of leaving me behind at Philam while they enjoy their sunday outings, I was big enough to join them. Although times changed, each time I get to see my cousins is the happiest day ever. Spending time with the Abano family is the best anyone can ever ask for. And even if our family isn't that perfect, we do get crazy sometimes, nothing and I mean NOTHING makes me feel like i'm part of a family other than this crazy bunch.

sitting on the "throne" at Philam

My eldest cousins (Tita Ophie's children) are probably the ones I know would protect me. I remember when I was a toddler, my parents would often leave me behind at my grandmother's house every sunday while they go to the mall. My Kuya Ton or Kuya Monette would often look after me. My cousins are big burly men who use serving spoons to eat, yet I always remembered them as big softies whenever I was around. I remember during those times that we would eat together, they would pile rice on their plates and put ulam right on the center. Kuya Monette taught me how to ride my first scooter. They introduced me to monay filled with dirty ice cream. They shoved my head into their armpits for fun and even shared stories about my lolo.  Tito Bing's three eldest children, although they lived in the States were a big part of my childhood. Kuya Binggles, I remember, taught me how to skateboard (I failed). While Kuya JV, because of his military background, would often be the protective one. He gave me my first ever "This is What Happens When You Get Drunk" talk.

My "older" cousins at Subic

My middle cousins (Tito Poyoyo's children) were the ones I really didn't spend time with the most, until we started spending time at Subic. As a kid I remembered going over to their house for a swim, since they had a pool. I would often stay on the pool stairs with a plastic cup in hand.

Posing ala One Tree Hill

Now my cousins (Tito Bing's younger children), I was probably closest to. Their youngest, Bingboy is close to my age. I remember whenever we spent summers in Bicol, I would always beg my dad to extend our stay because I love my cousins as much as I love Daet. We spent so much time at Bagasbas. I remember spending the whole day at the beach, by lunch time my Lola had the hotel staff bring food. Let me tell you, Mama Diday (the Karilagan Hotel cook) makes the BEST and I mean the BEST food ever. Her patatim is the bomb. I would spend countless hours looking after Bingboy, bathing him, picking out clothes for him, and crying everytime we're not together. Today, he towers over me and its probably impossible to dress him up. Ate Gay and Ate Ky were the ones who babied me. The younger cousins would often fight over where my two cousins would ride on the way home to Manila. They would often tell ghost stories, which ofcourse fed my addiction. Kuya Go is probably the next kuya I have to my real big brother. He would be there whenever I needed someone to talk to, or to give me advice whenever I was losing my way.

With Bingboy!!!

Tito Bingbong and Tita Daisie's children are the closest to my heart. They were such a part of my childhood. We are so close that when we we're kids they even fought with my other cousin because they thought she was "stealing their Lyca". I spent my weekends with them and they even got me started on swimming. Not to mention, the idea of mixing milo with my rice, which I got from them. Tita Daisie is my mom's bestfriend, and that just makes all of us closer. And eventhough this year, we lost my cousin Walter, the best memories will always stay with us.

Chie and Niks

Mace and Chie

My love for my cousins, eventually doubled for their children. My pamangkins are the main attraction for my facebook profile. I love them to bits. It's always fun to bond with my cousins, even if it means I need to be asked repeatedly where my boyfriend is (or lack thereof). They are what family is all about. We might not be perfect, and we often do crazy things, but it's just a silent truth, that we love each other. I can always count on them for anything, either laughs or sound advice.

Wrestling with my cousins

They are my true best friends. The ones who know me inside and out. The ones who have been there from day one. My cousins Kuya Dino, Kuya Weng, Kuya Monette, Kuya Ton, Kuya Ingky, Ate Chicha, Kuya Migo, Kuya Binggles, Kuya KC, Kuya JV, Ate Chitty, Ate Lisa, Kuya Joel, Kuya Popop, Ate Binggay, Ate Bingky, Kuya Bingo, Bingboy, Kuya Walter, Macy, Nikki, and Cheska.

An Open Letter to YOU – August 10 2010

My nieces, ranging from the ages of 2 to 5 are dancing to Justin Bieber as I write this. Although they inspired this letter, they are too young to understand anything in relation to what I'm thinking. The youngest will probably look at me with wonder and then ask me to take more pictures of her. The eldest would probably have an idea then scream COOOOTIES! So, when you girls do get older, I hope you get to read this and laugh at your poor old Auntie Lyca who took too long to figure things out.

To you,

I know my family and friends will be laughing once they read this, and trust me I'm cringing. They would probably tell me I am too far off to be saved or question why I actually wrote such things. It all started with a newspaper article I read to my nieces, because I wanted to share the wisdom of the words the author wrote. As I finished reading, my niece looked up, "Eh ikaw? What do you like?", she asked. I wanted to describe Prince Charming, just because at her age it's the only idea she probably has. But my niece, so intelligent and witty, would probably never believe me and I know she deserves more than that simple explanation. 

Over the years, he was the boy I first kissed during kindergarten, the boy who gave me his pencil whenever mine broke, the boy who tossed me that one mangled flower, the boy who asked me to prom, and the one who set my standards. So many experiences, funny ones in fact, yet I never asked myself if you were real. I know you're out there but I was never in a hurry to meet you. I mean, sure I think about you whenever I watch romantic comedies (which is close to never) or when my aunts tell me that the women in our family can't be tied down (which is often). In my mind, I'm happy being single (or maybe I'm just convincing myself), because I haven't met someone who has made me wish otherwise. But don't be scared, I'm pretty sure when I do meet you I won't be so hard to convince. 

I have to warn you though, if you're looking for Little Miss Perfect, that's not me. I'm a bit weird, I like to call myself "cooky" just so it would sound better. I'm shy and quiet, although when I open up I can overshare a bit. You would probably be irritated with how random I can be. I dance off cue and sing just as bad, it would be funny if you have fun with me rather than gawk at the weirdness. I don't have the long hair and legs. I have short, past the shoulder, no nonsense hair which I keep in a ponytail unless I want it pointing towards different directions. I'm short, just a wee bit past 5 inches, and because of that I will allow you to call me short, peanut, or anything else you think is funny.

You probably have a best friend, the one who can play games with you all day in your boxers while pigging out. I will leave that all up to the boys. However, I can be the one you call whenever you feel down or just had a bad day. They do say I'm a good listener. Whenever you're in an awkward situation or just bored, you can text me how everything is, then I'll say something funny that would make you laugh alone – which will make everything more awkward. I'm someone you can talk to about the simplest things to the biggest of dreams, and I promise to laugh a little and support you.

You would probably be a little conscious whenever I rub your back. That's my thing! Other girls play with the collar or the ear, I like rubbing backs. I do giggle, don't find it weird, when I giggle that's a good thing because that means I'm giddy. I like kissing cheeks, and I do love it whenever I surprise you by doing that. It just means I adore you. I would cook for you, not only on your birthday, but every single day you feel like it. Not to brag, but my adobo? IS AWESOME.

Yes, you can have your hangout time with the boys. I can also be the most fun person to hang out with. I won't drag you away from the scary horror movie because I LOVE watching them. If you still play console games, you don't have to hide it because I think it's cool (I was not raised with video games for nothing). I'm not afraid to eat, you won't see me ordering salad or measly amounts of food because I'm too shy. I do eat, and I'll eat whatever, whenever, and wherever you want. I won't have that weird look whenever you cheer too loudly or shake the television. I'm right there screaming and shouting with you because just like you, I love and understand sports.


I will be there whenever you need someone to hold on to AND still be there when you want to be alone. I'll give you your space and have a life of your own. At the end of the day I can always be that one person you can talk and drink hot chocolate with on the sofa.

I'll appreciate your own plans, but do know that we can also plan our little adventures together. Buying a map where we can thumbtack the places we want to go to. Looking at my "Restaurants" list and accomplishing my dine out escapades with me. Rolling down the car windows and screaming out happiness as we go on our road trips. We can have fun under the sun all day, even if it means that all my freckles will be proudly all over. And we will never get tired of each other along the way.

 I hope you find my randomness awesome. I plan to share it with you whenever possible. One moment we're holding hands, the next I will be dancing and trying to make you join in the fun. I'll tell you things I thought of in that instance then cover my mouth when I get embarrassed. 

You shouldn't be afraid of my family, which you will eventually meet because we are close like that. My dad will have that strong hand shake, he is not scary, when you meet him you will find out why I love him so much. My mom is a bit scary, although she has her reasons. Let me tell you, each time my mother tells me she doesn't like a certain someone, she always proves me right. My sister and brother are the funniest people EVER! Don't be scared when my brother starts telling you the things he did to the boys I liked, he is making up…half of it. My aunts will probably be a little too happy. My uncles will probably holler and make you feel embarrassed. My cousins might interrogate you a bit and make you take that one beer bottle for acceptance. I wish this doesn't scare you because we are a big and loving family. I will also love your family, no matter what, if you do decide to introduce me. I will love your family, friends, house help, driver, dogs, cats, ANYTHING and ANYONE! And I promise not to pester you whenever I feel otherwise.

You will be someone I can plan my future with – reserving plane tickets to trips we will have, getting our first pet together (no cats), helping you move in to your new place, having our little piggybank savings, and many more that we will come up with randomly.

To the man who will prove me otherwise, that I really can be tied down: I'm easy to love. The only reason I don't believe, is because I know my capacity. I know how much I can love, and it's the single most terrifying thing in this world. Just remember, all the things that make me who I am. Please don't try to change me, because I promise to be the best I can be for you. I'm really not keeping my fingers crossed or praying that you'll hurry up, because I can wait. If you're the right one, trust me I'll know. I just hope you'd wait for me too.

Cringing in embarrassment,

Angelica

I read this to my nieces and they said: EW.

A Letter to Lyca

Dear Lyca,

It's been 23 years and you have gone a long way. Not many achievements as we would have liked, but now you know it's never too late. You've spent so much time being hard on yourself, surrounding yourself with negativity, and giving in to the criticisms of your own self-doubt. I'm happy you finally got to this point, just like what we promised ourselves, one day you'll get here. It wasn't an easy road to take right? There were many heartaches, disappointments, and lies. Instead of thinking that these things strengthened you, you always thought these were proofs that you couldn't do anything. Now you know you were wrong, because those things, the bumps in the road made you confident and strong. There's no need to criticize yourself anymore because the one person who should love and respect you realized just now that she always did. I love how big your smile is, even though you know your teeth are not the most perfect set, you still have the biggest smile ever. I love your chubby cheeks because they always turn the perfect shade of pink when you're happy. I love your eyes, because they are big, clear, and deep just like you. I love your long lashes because you get that from your mom. I love your scooped ears because they say it means you will be rich. I love your hair because it's the perfect shade of brown. I love your neck because you got the lines there from your dad. I love your body because it's what God gave you. Now I know you have to lose weight, eventually you will and you know you have to start tomorrow. Even if mom tells you to lose weight, it doesn't mean she hates how you look, she just wants you to be healthy. And you will start tomorrow. I love your toes, yes even the mangled nail of your baby toe because they always say "you're so much like your dad" since his baby toe is also messed up. I love the scratches on your arms, because those represent the fun times you had playing with the dogs. I love your tattoo because it represents the strength you must have, "rising from the end", remember that you always have to rise after defeat. I love how funny you are, even if you can't deliver a joke properly, sabi nga nila "easy lang pero may digs". I love that you are compassionate, always the nurturer, always the one to take people under her wings. I love that you're beginning to fight back when you criticize yourself. I love that you are shy because good deeds are better than loud words. I love that you have a relationship with God even if it's not the most perfect. I love that you can wear whatever you like because you are beginning to realize your own beauty. I love that you have the most perfect family who provides for you, supports you, and loves you unconditionally. I love that despite the fact that you're irritable, you still find ways to surprise the people you love. I love the fact that you love your father so much, because you are so much like him. I love that you take some risks, baby steps, but still they are risks. I love that despite the heartache, you are happy and ready for new love. I love that despite the fear, you managed to push through with your dreams. I love that you love your job now, and hopefully you work hard to prolong your stay in the company. I love that you're looking at the positive side of things. I love that you are no longer angry or afraid. I love that you are no longer settling because you know what you want. I love the fact that all your dreams are coming true, more so because you want to dream bigger. I love the fact that you are dreaming not only for yourself, but for others. I love each and every thing about you, each and every mistake you made, and each and every choice you took. These made you...you. These things made you...me.

It's time to start. I'll see you on the other side.

Love,
The New Angelica