Ten years from now? PASS!

The scariest question anyone can ask me is: Where do you see yourself five or ten years from now?

Seriously, it does take more than a minute to look back on what I have done THEN analyze what I still want to do. However, it does put me back on track..shakes me up a bit. When I started high school, they asked me where I see myself ten years from then..i'm 23..it is 10 years from then. Ten years that passed by just like air. I can bet on my life, I have probably done 2 out of the 5 things I swore I would do. Happy camper.

Isn't it scary though? constantly evaluating what your plans were then realizing you fell short? Sure I have dreams and aspirations, but i'm not really the best long-term planner. I would set goals for myself for say, the next 2 years, but never 10. It's not the easiest to look back and feel bad because you felt you didn't live enough. I have accomplished personal goals, just probably not the kind people would understand. I remember whenever I saw people I hung out with before, they would usually say "Grabe, sobrang laki ng pinagbago mo!!!", then my friends now would think "Really? I don't see THAT much of a change."

I am happy where I am because God knows I've come so far. You win some, you lose some. Ganun lang naman yun eh. Atleast I won more than I lost.

MMK - April 19 2010 -

"Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."  

I woke up today and reminded myself that I had to do something for my bestfriend's anniversary. I came up with the usual short anniversary wish. I was actually as far as posting it already, but then I realized I owe them more than that. I've been with them throughout the 2-year relationship and I've never met two people who were more right for each other. 

It started with a girl who prayed for something else. And a boy who told himself he wasn't going to be serious.  Now, two years later they are still choosing to be together. I always knew you'd make it. Two years..three..four..forever AND EVER! I read somewhere na everything all boils down to choice. It's a day to day thing to actually live through it and choose to love the one you're with. And somehow it's a great feeling na you get to have someone to choose. I know it wasn't the easiest ride for the two of you, but that is what i'm most proud of: despite the differences you still choose to stick around.

To my bestfriend and her boyfriend:

Life didn't make it easy for you, but I'm so glad love did. Like I always tell you, at the end of the day you really have to be thankful that you have each other. If other people knew how to appreciate and love the one they're with, life would be easier. And I'm so happy God keeps on blessing your relationship with the most beautiful love story. Misunderstandings and conflicts? Normal lang yun and don't let it get you down. Sometimes, may mga ugali na lumalabas, probably something na either one of you does not like. It's a part of being in a relationship and getting to know each other. But your love? It endured the differences. As Shakespeare said, "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." It took more than love to make your relationship work. Siguro that serves as a lesson to everyone, that love comes when you don't seek it and it stays not with just love alone.

Bestfriend, I've always told you how proud I am that you have been so brave to love and be loved. Boyfriend ni bestfriend, I'm glad she is with someone who accepts her for who she is. Thank you for being that little spark of faith that love can actually happen to someone. Happy Second Anniversary you two :) 

Gift? Eto o... 

Baby LomLom!

...hahahahaha...

Dust. Boxes. Duct tape.

"You should always clean your room so you can throw out the things you no longer need."

My mom has been saying that for 23 years. Every now and then she would remind me that I might come across things in my room that needs to be thrown out. But here's the problem: I'm not a thrower. Ask anyone! Ask my family and even my friends, they know I have a hard time letting go of things. As my sister said before, for me everything has sentimental value. I mean, sure every few years I clean out my closet for a garage sale yet somehow it seems like my room is still full of things - most probably things I no longer need.

Admit it! Sometimes cleaning out your room can take half of the time if only you don't sit down and look at all the things you stored. Maybe it's that picture that reminds you so much of someone, that notebook you doodled your notes on, or maybe that stuffed animal that may be old and gray. And with each and every single memory, decision boxes form in your head..to keep or not to keep?

I hate throwing away things so much my sister does it for me.

It does come to a point when my mom no longer needs to remind me of the things I should put aside. The things I see over and over again that I can never seem to throw out. The things I need to box up until I have to deal with it again.

So there I was cleaning up my room, looking at the pictures, and pulling out musty pieces. Putting it one by one in a box until they were just..things..not memories. I covered it with a cloth and sealed the box with tape. Then I walked up the stairs to tuck it away in the farthest part of the attic. Back where I can't reach it. For the first time, cleaning up my room wasn't such a burden anymore, it didn't drag on like it did before. I know I couldn't throw it away just yet, but it is out of my sight. And maybe I thought, it isn't so bad to throw things away once in a while.

It's a choice I have to make again and again, day in and day out. Not to keep.

Isa. Isaw. Isasawsaw.

"Ikaw kasi takot ka maging mag-isa."

Ano daw? Ako na according to my sister is the classic example of an introvert? I like being alone as a matter of fact. I love locking myself up inside my room with a good book. So how the heck can someone say I can't take being alone?

"Hindi Lycs, you can't take deciding to be alone..to be happy for yourself."

Confusing..but it does make sense. I've always been a play-it-by-the-book girl. Like those freaky Rotary reminders strategically placed on the road, I live with questions. Sa palagay ko naman lahat makakapagsabi na hindi ako gumagawa ng desisyon that others would think is wrong. Noon iniisip ko na I owe it to the people in my life not to disappoint them. Pero is it really helpful? Tama ba na iniisip ko ang happiness ng ibang tao kesa sa sarili ko? Tama ba talaga yung nagsabi na takot ako magdesisyon para sa sariling kong happiness?

You know what disturbs me the most? The fact that a 23 year old is asking herself who her happiness should be for.

Welcome to my new blog :]

I have had a number of blogs before, and I usually start it by describing who I am and why I'm blogging. Sure, I gpt to rant and rave but everything got boring which caused my katamaran to update. Well...i'm a normal person. Haha. Probably the most normal and simple person you can find. Everyone's first impression of me? is usually wrong.  I don't want to keep this blog private because honestly it defeats the purpose. I guess I'll just keep posting until I find the purpose for this blog. Pretty exciting noh? Haha sana hindi ako tamarin. Feel free to comment or follow me..whatever. :]