A Letter to Lyca

Dear Lyca,

It's been 23 years and you have gone a long way. Not many achievements as we would have liked, but now you know it's never too late. You've spent so much time being hard on yourself, surrounding yourself with negativity, and giving in to the criticisms of your own self-doubt. I'm happy you finally got to this point, just like what we promised ourselves, one day you'll get here. It wasn't an easy road to take right? There were many heartaches, disappointments, and lies. Instead of thinking that these things strengthened you, you always thought these were proofs that you couldn't do anything. Now you know you were wrong, because those things, the bumps in the road made you confident and strong. There's no need to criticize yourself anymore because the one person who should love and respect you realized just now that she always did. I love how big your smile is, even though you know your teeth are not the most perfect set, you still have the biggest smile ever. I love your chubby cheeks because they always turn the perfect shade of pink when you're happy. I love your eyes, because they are big, clear, and deep just like you. I love your long lashes because you get that from your mom. I love your scooped ears because they say it means you will be rich. I love your hair because it's the perfect shade of brown. I love your neck because you got the lines there from your dad. I love your body because it's what God gave you. Now I know you have to lose weight, eventually you will and you know you have to start tomorrow. Even if mom tells you to lose weight, it doesn't mean she hates how you look, she just wants you to be healthy. And you will start tomorrow. I love your toes, yes even the mangled nail of your baby toe because they always say "you're so much like your dad" since his baby toe is also messed up. I love the scratches on your arms, because those represent the fun times you had playing with the dogs. I love your tattoo because it represents the strength you must have, "rising from the end", remember that you always have to rise after defeat. I love how funny you are, even if you can't deliver a joke properly, sabi nga nila "easy lang pero may digs". I love that you are compassionate, always the nurturer, always the one to take people under her wings. I love that you're beginning to fight back when you criticize yourself. I love that you are shy because good deeds are better than loud words. I love that you have a relationship with God even if it's not the most perfect. I love that you can wear whatever you like because you are beginning to realize your own beauty. I love that you have the most perfect family who provides for you, supports you, and loves you unconditionally. I love that despite the fact that you're irritable, you still find ways to surprise the people you love. I love the fact that you love your father so much, because you are so much like him. I love that you take some risks, baby steps, but still they are risks. I love that despite the heartache, you are happy and ready for new love. I love that despite the fear, you managed to push through with your dreams. I love that you love your job now, and hopefully you work hard to prolong your stay in the company. I love that you're looking at the positive side of things. I love that you are no longer angry or afraid. I love that you are no longer settling because you know what you want. I love the fact that all your dreams are coming true, more so because you want to dream bigger. I love the fact that you are dreaming not only for yourself, but for others. I love each and every thing about you, each and every mistake you made, and each and every choice you took. These made you...you. These things made you...me.

It's time to start. I'll see you on the other side.

Love,
The New Angelica