Hello 2011!!!

Ohhhh 2010. This year was so amazing I wish it would go on forever. But hey, like what I learned this year - change is constant, it's something to be embraced willingly. Instead of the usual new year's resolution list, I have decided to write an annual thank you list. A cap off to the past year's highlights, and a start to the many thanks I wish to have for the year to come.

I loved 2010 and I have a feeling 2011 will rock my world to the core. Bring it on. :)

So here we go!

I'm thankful for...

1. Good health for my family
    Every time I say a prayer or go to mass, I always pray for my family's health. Thankfully, both my parents and siblings had no illness this year.

2. Nikolai
    This year God (and my dad) has brought me another wonderful creature to give me unconditional love. My bebe boo now 10 months old, is such a bundle of joy.

3. Wonderful job opportunities
    Not only did I work for a magazine this year, I scored my dream job by working for a sports magazine. The UAAP magazine is one of the best experiences I have ever had. Not only did God make the experience super fun, the magazine sales also did very well.

4. New people
    This year, I managed to meet new people and see the ones that only make my life toxic. I'm thankful that there is less drama for me this year. I mean, really now, I'm 23. I'm too old for drama.

5. Moving on
    I started out this year without much idea where to start. I am THANKFUL that after so long, I'm finally content and comfortable where I am. I'm not out to seek more, and if I am it is only for myself.

6. Australia
    This is by far the biggest gift 2010 gave me. I went from not knowing where to go to having all my ducks in a line.

It took me a long time to get here and I guess 2010 was a perfect year to choose my own path. I am thankful about all the things I had to go through, the decisions I had to make, and most specially realizing that I am not just happy, but happiER. 2010 is something I would wish on anybody, just because this year made me so happy and complete. I'm no longer scared about the future, because I know I can take whatever it dishes out. So to everyone, a happy new year. Be thankful. Be strong. Most importantly, be happy.

Happy New Year! :)

Breathe

First off, let me apologize because this blog post does not even come close to the good things in life. It may not be the saddest, but I really feel like crying. I spent so many months ignoring the subject and now that I opened up..I just feel all the more guarded. Minsan feeling ko ako lang gumagawa ng sarili kong problema. I promised myself I'll never be this girl again, the kind who misses being with someone. Pero like they told me, it's part of being human. I just wish I never had that conversation. Not because it wasn't the right time, but because it was with the wrong person. You know that instance when you go on and on about someone you want to be with and you realize...your describing one specific person? And what's worse is that your ACTUALLY talking to that person? Then he goes off talking about a person who is SO FAR from who you are. I'm mature enough not to kick and scream because of that.

I'm just so frustrated because its the story all over again. It's become such a cycle that I'm getting so sick and tired. I just want to run as fast as I can because God knows I don't need this in my life right now. I was doing great, I finally got the hang of it. I wish I had the courage to walk away like I always do. But I can't. I want you to quit telling me I deserve so much more. I want you to quit telling me someone is out there.

You know all those things I was rambling about? That was you. Each and every detail. I don't love you. God knows I don't because I don't believe in it. But you're not someone I can walk away from. You're not someone I can just run away from because I'm beginning to feel something. And that's what scares me the most. Its a cycle. It happens all the time. And I'm afraid I have so much more to lose now. And I really REALLY want to walk away.

...

:]